Am I a BITCH??????

I am not sure anymore. So I need you guys to tell me. This isn't the first time my head is telling me that I am a complete bitch. At first I denied it, but this is like the third time in less than a month that I have questioned the presence of my very strong inner bitch. On a usual day, I'd say I wasn't but lately especially today, very bitchy thoughts keep zooming through my brain, in complete circles.

Like yesterday, for example, some of my friends and I were talking about cheating and what we'd do if we were going to cheat.. and i came up with some of the most brilliant ideas on how to cover up or justify it. It was almost as if I had thought about them before. The thing is I am not a pro-cheating person. then I was watching Entourage ad I find I actually like the guy code thing not spilling on your mate even to a mutual friend. You see, usually, as a girl I'd think it is okay to spill if you are doing it to protect that friend or someone else.

This weekend, I found I had to stifle myself quite a lot... as in a lot lot, like every 2 minutes. When someone said something I thought was completely stupid, I'd want to turn around with an incredulous look on my face and say "you are such a dumb fuck, even a dumb fuck would think you were dumb" or say "are you listening to yourself?, I don't meaning hearing your voice but actually listening to the words your are actually letting out of your mouth?" I know it's normal to think this like once in a month, but I think them a lot!

Some days ago, I actually had an argument in my head about if I thought someone was stupid or just an idiot. And I actually thought of the difference between the two. You see a stupid person you can educate, they are just slower than usual, like you'd call a dog stupid when they are slow getting a Frisbee. An idiot, you can't teach because trying to educate one is more impossible than anything i can think of at the moment.

But I CANNOT be a bitch!!! I didn't say these things out loud. I practiced self-control and kept quiet. Should I reward myself for that? I don't know. I really think I am almost the sweetest person I have met. People that have met me or read my blog, do you think, I am a Bitch or just realistic?