I know

I know I promised a certain stalker that7 I would update my blog but i have writer's block. :( happens when u have to write everyday (occupational hazard). so I am going to write tomorrow and detail everything that is note worthy that has happened to me in the past week. quiet a lot actually. for now i'm watching every single episode of the Nanny for the umpteenth time. it gets better every time. My body hurts so much ryt now. never thought i could go up to 30 mins with only 10 secs break. but i did.

SERIOUS TALK

As you all know I am poet before a columnist or a novelist. So today I am going to write a poem. Like most of my poetry, it is a mixture of fact and fiction. WHY? well this poem will explain why I have to mix reality plus the "unreal". it will also explain a lot of things I do and why I cannot stop myself from doing them. The fiction that inspires me to do this is the movie The Secret Life of The Bees. if you have read any of my works then you may be inclined to ask why most of my writing is centered on pain. Well, this will explain why.

Ever since I was little, I depended on the feelings of others
Every opinion I have is based on the Vibes I get from people's feelings.
My mother calls me Mother Christmas,
She knows whenever I see someone in need I can't help but try.
Although I grow, this afflictions refuses to go away,
I think as long as I live it will stay.

When people shake their heads because I have chosen yet another stray,
I know they are going to do the same when that stray turns around to bite me.
I expect a bite from every stray I meet,
And so far no one has disappointed me.

Even though I know what to expect, I still pick up a stray.
Why?

Because the pain I get from seeing a stray is worse than their bite when they are stronger.
You see, I am ecstatic when they bite because it shows that they are strong enough to walk alone.
Sometimes their bite may be weak; so I stand by the door.
Waiting for them to come back.

And you see, they never disappoint me in that aspect either.
And even when people think I have no emotions, no feelings, no opinions of my .
I do not get angry at their thoughts.

WHY?

Because I know that being able to bear only the feelings of others, their emotions and opinions, gives more pain than having yours.
You see, I cannot get angry at this people because I am happy that their load is light.
I happy happy that they can depend on me.
I am happy that at least in the morning they have hope that their tears will end.
And in their whole life time all the tears they cry will not amount to a puddle
Because my heart is filled with their seas and oceans,
Bodies of water I can unload once in a blue moon.

A blue moon that I face alone in the quiet stillness and rumbling of my soul.
So when someone calls me Mother Christmas, Mama Africa, Mother to the whole world,
I accept it because I learned that maybe that's all I can ever be.

It is all I have ever been.
I am the one who toils in her sleep, to make everyone smile while she is too tired to do the same.
Cause then and only then does the sea level in my heart reduce without so much agony.
It is when the sunshine radiating from their hearts burn some of the unshed tears away.



The Sun from the friends and family that make it their duty to laugh at my jokes (even the unfunny ones). Friends that don't understand why I do the things I do, but stand by me and take care of me when the stray's bite is worse than I anticipated.
Oh can u guys believe I cried when I watched a movie?!??1?/1?! The only other movie I cried for was Sex and the City. WOW

I HAVE A DREAM

Today has been quite uninteresting.
I just got good news from my brother, very soon i shall be 5 dollars richer.! can u believe that!
I still dunno what I wanna do for my Birthday and it's fast approaching. How do I know? Well, it's my birthday and I know that instead of the usual 60 min/hour time frame, the days have suddenly become faster and the hours are now only 30 minutes long. I know eh, even nature can't wait for me to be a yer older. How old am I? well, since I am about to leave the age behind, I will give you a clue and a minute before my birthday, I'll tell u if I remember.
The clue: I am a very young child.:D

Oh yh nd the other reason I know my birthday is fast approaching is because tomorrow is my dearest mummy's birthday.
P.S the fact that we r n the middle of the month and my birthday is at the end of the same month has nothing to do with my knowledge.

please don't ask me what I want. I will, however, make my birthday shopping a lot easier for you by telling you what I love.

I like the whole Wii Fit thing, its so rad, I see myself having one but I cant figure out what I need to have one, like do I need a Nintendo console? Can I just buy the board and plug it to the T.v and begin the whole thing? things like that.

My friend. SHE WHO DOESN'T EAT UNLESS I COOK, got me a make-up book and it was so lovely, that shows that she knows what I like. In the make-up book, it said a real make-up artist has to have all the brushes in two sets: real hair and synthetic set of professional make-up brushes. I think its a great idea having two complete sets having two complete sets.

they would help enhance the look of the new size 81/2 pairs of shoes I am going to get. I already see the shoes, really high fancy heels and maybe some nice pairs of flats with lovely totes to match. hmmmm.

something that will look nice directly under the new fashion picture or painting I am going to get. the painting that would look nicer in my room that the spa that I am going to spend a day at. Wow I have such great friends and a wonderful brother!

Oh yeah back from my dreamland that my love ones are going to make a reality.

So, you know how when you become a year older you don't really feel it. well my case is going to be different, cause immediately I turn a year older (haha u thought i was going to say my age), my maturity is going to be tested-i hope i pass- the worst test a girl can ever take. Lord help. I am going to celebrate my mum's birthday tomorrow. I dunno what to do. I guess I have to call her and find out what she wants me to do. :D kk I am going back to my sick bed.

Oh hello Object of my Stalktation, u do know your are part of my love ones. :)

REPLY TO THE OBJECT OF MY FAITHFUL STALKTATION :D

So a friend of mine wrote something bout excuses women make and when i pointed out the fact that men make the same excuses, he told me that it was up to a girl to attack this grievance. Well, i think he is right so I am going to attack the male species today.

The excuse in Question ? "I just got out of a relationship, I am not ready for another one. Let's just have fun"

My problem with this excuse? I have more than one problem, but I will start with the error in timing. Every guy that I have heard make this excuse ended their relationship at least two months before the conversation. one day is just, one week is just, two weeks is just, three weeks is not just, a month is not just, two months baby is a life time! Two months is enough to get over a girl who you realize was a complete bitch!

Yes I know I said I had many problems with this excuse, so I will get on with my second problem. Most guys that make this excuse were the ones who approached the girl and even brought up the whole relationship topic. Most girls I know would never prod a guy to ask them to be in a relationship. In fact, most girls would wait patiently for the guy to realize that he wants to be in a serious relationship(at least I did). So why bring up this supposed dreaded topic if you don't want to talk about it. Don't put ideas in our heads if you are not ready to follow up.

My next problem. SPECIFY! WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY A RELATIONSHIP? Cos even fun can be classified as a relationship. friendship is a relationship, sex buddies= a relationship, friends with benefit= a relationship, unofficial boyfriend/girlfriend= a relationship, official boyfriend/girlfriend= a SERIOUS relationship. So Buster by saying you are not ready for a relationship you haven't actually knocked your point across. And do not go about wondering why a girl refuses to have "fun" with you cause I will save your time by telling you. TWO SECONDS AGO YOU JUST TOLD HER YOU WERE NOT READY FOR A RELATIONSHIP. To us girls the only thing that doesn't qualify as a relationship is a one night stand with a total stranger you are never going to meet in your life.

My last issue with this excuse. Don't give us the BULLSHIT. we all know that when a guy tells you that it means we don't want you. Why then do girls hope for the best? Cause we like you enough to think you might be our exemption. we like you enough to believe that you might become ready for us. That's why even after you nonsensical speech we stick around, call all day, send text messages pretending it was meant for someone else, email, tag you in fcbk notes and do whatever you ask us to. So if you really don't like a girl that way at least respect her enough to say, I DO NOT LIKE YOU AS ANYTHING ELSE BUT A FRIEND. And trust me you will still have a friend at the end of the day, instead of making enemies out of all her friends.

I know I said many problems and this might not feel like a lot of issues, but they can drag for a very long time and I am unaashamed to say I speak from experience. So guys please get to the point and stop trying to spare our feelings