Random

some one once told me that "it is impossible to love others if you don't love yourself". That someone was my mother. She said this to me years and years ago but in my inexperience I said she didn't know anything. By now after sitting atop the fire of life for such a long time I know she is right.

But how do you know if you don't love yourself? How do you learn to love yourself when you have spent so long loving others and forgetting that you are in fact human?

Anyways, so I have been thinking of recent, as in really thinking about my capability of really loving someone. And for some reason I can't picture myself loving anyone. Of course, I love my friends and my family and will love my children. but I am talking about like a boyfriend or husband-kind of person. Like how do you love someone enough to open every aspect yourself up to them knowing fully well that they could hurt you and break you.

One of my exes told me that I am incapable of loving someone. I try to tell myself that it was him i was incapable of loving but i can't help to think in the back of my mind that maybe the problem is me. Maybe I am really incapable of loving, i dunno.

I don't know the ppoint of this post, but it feels good to just let it out. :D hope you are having fun...

SONIA'S ANSWER

Ok SO my friend Sonia posted these questions on facebook and wanted me to answer the, but i figured I need more that a few lines to answer them and that some other people might have these questions, so here are my thoughts.


1. what qualities do you look for in a partner.
well the most important is honesty. Most times you have to ask yourself what qualities do you have to give, cause you can't be unable to bring something to the table and expect your partner to. You can't cheat and expect your partner to be faithful, or lie and expect your partner to be honest at all times. You can't be lazy and expect the other to be diligent. IT JUST DOESN'T WORK IN A MATURE HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP..

2. would you forgive your partner if they cheated on you?Explain why you would and why you wouldn't?
The word partner is like lean bacon (sorry that's the best I could come up with). Why? For you to regard someone as your partner and not a boyfriend or a lover, it means you have learned to trust and love this person and regard them as your equal; you have trimmed all the fat off. Now to answer the question. I will... yeah I know. The question is will I get back with them? I might the first time they do. Depending on who with, the timing, the place, the why and the how?

3. Do you think sex is necessary in cementing a long term relationship? Expand.
No, I don't. Why? Did your parents think you had to pay rent for them to let you stay in their house? What's the relation ship between the two? Well once you start viewing sex as neccessary to keep you partner you might as well be paying them. If you don't want to do the deed and your partner thinks that you should for you to stay together then you shouldn't be with them. I am certain most guys and even girls want to do the dirty dirty but if they feel strongly bout you, they can hold for a little while. But you shouldn't tease them either. don't start what u can't finish.

4. Are we able to feel love to the full extent at this age?
No. Love grows everyday even adults don't feel love to the full extent. everyday and with every experience you learn to appreciate the other more.

Perfection

Striving for Perfection in a personal matter, though tough is easier, much more than when u have to strive with someone else. When you are striving alone, you can motivate yourself and always have other people to motivate you. When you feel low you can give yourself a pep talk, push yourself harder.

When you are with someone else, you can't push the other person to hard because you are afraid you might push them away, especially if it is with someone you love. For couple perfection you both have to have the same level of energy at all times, if not a seedling of resentment in the person who feels they are fighting and striving more.

The only sort of perfection you can create in a relationship is perfecting the acknowledgment of the fact that there is no way to gain perfection in a relation. Perfecting the act of turning a blind eye to faults in a relation and the significant other. But as we are human, we always aim for something higher, something within our grasp and when we have reached that level we want more.

Hence, there is nothing like a perfect couple or an almost perfect couple. We see a couple that strives for more than they have and that is the example we should follow. Although perfection is imossible, happiness is... So instead of striving for perfection, fight for happiness with the one you love and fight to help keep them standing cause that's the closest you will get to perfection...

HRM THIS IS FOR YOU.. SORRY IT'S LATE. XOXOXOX