PRE Second Order of Disorder

SO i was going to go ahead to my second order of disorder, but I can't remember what I was going to tallk about so yeah. I will try and remember or I may forget about it all together. SUPANOVA SUPANOVA SUPANOVA!!! yeaah yay.. Ok bye Stalkers

First Order of disorder

Hello Ever -Welcomed Stalkers,

I have actually lost track of time, so I can't remember when exactly my last post was. if it was a long time ago and you have come on more than 3 times in search of an update, I am sorry. If you got on here by accident and really didn't want to read a new post from me, I am sorry too. :D Well Well Well. Where to start. WHERE TO START.

Well, I have been having more-random-than-usual thoughts of late, So I'll just address everyone of them in order of no order at all.

Well my aunt, a friend of hers and I were talking about invites in this country and how people actually send F.Y.I invites. yeah I didn't know what they were till I think last week (again my inability to track time). Well F.Y.I invites are invitations to say "oh I am getting married oh I just had a baby(you know announcements for stuff you have parties for), but you are not invited for the party, we are just telling you so that you can send presents". IMAGINE!!!

How come here on a normal day, in this part of the world they are willing to spend all their savings on shoes and shopping and electronics, but on what they refer to the most important day of their lives they are worried about spending their life savings. Back home it is entirely different, because on a normal day, they complain about how expensive pure water is, and on their wedding day they spend even what they don't have. Did you know that here, some people make their bridal party buy their dresses and stuff.
p.s I am not criticizing anyone, I am just wondering if it is possible to do both- spend lavishly and save for the rest of your life? I don't know why I am discussing this- told you it is more random than usual. I am just practicing for when I become a columnist for a bridal magazine- amongst other things


I think it is possible. I propose having a savings account for your wedding. People you best be making notes for future purpose.

Yeah... For a year, whatever you earn that you'd usually put in savings for your future house and kids and whatever else,just put it in your bridal account, even if you are not sure about getting married. Or you could do it for the first two years you get a steady income, because that is when parents are most understanding and want to help you get somethings. Why not let them get you that house or car they are offering to get you. So when the time comes you can spend everything in your account -the BRIDAL account.

Guys who are reading this, - I doubt many guys will read my bridal column when I do get one- you probably wouldn't want to get weird looks from the banking staff when you are opening this account. There's a solution, simply open an account for the future Mrs. Lagbaja. Trust me you will probably need it. Because the future Mrs. is a career woman doesn't mean she doesn't like being spent on...

Thank you Stalkers for letting me practice on you, though I doubt any of you finished reading it. :D

I love you still

Don't trust me.

Hello, my slacking stalkers.

Been less than a minute, but so much and so little has happened in that time. Yeah I figured what was making me depressed. DON'T LAUGH. I miss school, and having no time for myself, and writing essays, and having to think a lot. I hate it when my mind is blank or my thoughts are mundane. I like having to get into the minds of depressed authors and figuring out what they were thinking or imposing thoughts on them. it's so nice, I love and miss school. Yeah I know I'm weird and different and special and anything synonymous to that.

Now to the main purpose of my blog.

I don't know if I am just myself or if other people think this way, but I can never ever trust anyone who says "trust me". Well it takes me a long time to trust people under normal circumstances, I don't even fully trust Gandhi, and he seems like a pretty good person. I feel like people who say "trust me" or "don't you trust me" have something to hide or are omitting a big part of their story, they just want you to get into stuff blindly. Why would you ask someone to trust you if you haven't given them a reason to. I would rather go into a cave with a stranger who says "I don't think it's wise for you to trust me" than go in with an acquaintance who says "don't you trust me". I loathe it when people say that. It causes me to cringe and shrink away from them, because it seems like a red flag, a signal saying GO THE OTHER WAY!
Let's say, you dad brought you food and says "trust me it's not poisonous" would you eat it? I wouldn't. From your answer figure out why you would or wouldn't eat it.
For me trust is like love, you don't ask people to trust you or tell them you trust them, you just do. The people I love gave me a reason to love them, they had characteristics that made them lovable, these people also gave me a reason to trust them. They never came up to me to say "don't you love or trust me" it just happened.
I was just listening to the 3oh3 song "Don't trust me" and I realized that I would trust someone who sad that, because they are so weary of hurting you and you getting to close, that they probably would be the most honest people. Yeah and I decided to share...

My summer is okay. I haven't started hearing voices, or decided to jump off my balcony, so I guess it's not that bad.

Hey And Goodnight

I'm tired. but not exactly tired. just FED UP! And I don't know why. I just don't want to do, say, feel anything. And it's so annoying because I thinking a scream would do it, but i don't want to scream. I sort of like this state of nothingness and the anger I'm feeling, I dunno why (guess I'm still weird). I just want to crawl to my bed or underneath it and block every sound out, cover my window and balcony door with black curtains even find something thick enough to stop light from seeping in through the small space at the bottom of the door. I don't want to talk, so now I'm listening to angry songs that make me feel like I don't have to do the screaming because the vocalists are doing in for me. Am I crazy?- probably.
It's so bad that pictures of the most fabulous shoes are not doing it for me. even the thought of watching The Nanny Fine isn't doing it for me, because I cringe at the thought of her voice. Peoples what is wrong with me!!!!?!?!?!?!

WAIT...
don't tell me. I'll figure it out, or it will pass, or maybe I'll vent much later.

Anyways just wanted to write so that people won't feel too offended if I became monosyllabic during conversations, or didn't reply their messages, answer their calls or don't check on them for a while. I still love you guys which is why I am going to become a recluse for a while.

xoxoxoxoxoxox
Your fav Stalker
AKA GIDI HAIR

talk to you when I become my normal chirpy self. Or figure out why I feel so angry.

RULING THE WORLD pt 2

Last night I thought seriously about the ink and the sword
All of a sudden , I put down my quill
Convinced myself that my lace gloves were ink stains
Instains I didn't want marring my person.

When the last trace of ink was gone from my hands
When from the sink , it was drained away;
I felt drained
Like I had suddenly become part of the violent mob.
One of the people that fought to get something better
Though they have the best thing in their clenched protesting fist.
I had become greedy
Falling away from the powerful.

I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror
Unable to look...
To really look at myself.

I rushed to my study,
Ran to the kiosk,
To the supermarket, The street Hawker
And finally to the beggar I saw people pass by on the street...
And got myself a pen.

I scribbled furiously,
On any surface I could come in contact with.
My receipts, The CD cover, the leather surface of my somewhat expensive bag an finally on my skin.

The skin I thought too precious to be marred.

And while I looked disheveled and almost lunatic,
I was proud and eager to look at myself
Find anything that could show me a reflection of myself.

I could see myself without even looking
And it felt better to be in control of the mobs that classify my life,
Than to lose that mob in search of a large crowd.

This is what happens when you begin to question your beliefs, some people find themselves, and some people just spend the rest of their lives looking.

RULING THE WORLD pt 1

Now to the piece that I actually was going to make my come back blog. You guys might not like it but ehn...

There was a time when I believe wholly, fully and without doubt that a pen is mightier than a sword.
And never even had a meta cognition about the meaning of or truth in that statement.
I walked around with my head always held up high,
Through the violent mob that constitutes my life
Because I was the strongest person, I knew.

Even as I held my chewed-beyond-repair Reynolds pen or Bic Biro, I had to flick with my ink stained hands every five minutes, I was still the strongest person I knew.
I could turn my chewed pen into an elegant quill
Make the act of constant flickering into the normalcy of dipping my peacock quill into my gold ink pot
And the ink stains quickly became the most expensive lace gloves in the world
I ruled the world and that violent mob with my ink-stained flickering hand.

And I ruled with my head held high.
Until...