mehn the mehn mehn

I'm having my out of body experience again. what's the use of the stupid therapist if immediately after I'm one, i feel the same way! Like I am so tired, normally cleaning helps, but my room's been in the same state of cleanliness (unusual)and i just cleaned the whole kitchen, which was worse than other days, but i still indifferent. Like everything is so peaceful, too peaceful, and I find myself thinking that there is a storm brewing in the not so distant future.

What scares me the most is that I am not afraid. And I know I am not making sense to some now, and i do not expect to make sense to anyone cuase I do not make sense to myself. Unlike every week, I am looking forward to writing my fictional and factual weekly journal to Mr. K but I can't because i am no longer his cupa tea.

Since I started taking my medication, well since the first pill, I have been feeling no feeling and sleeping! yeah i knew that it was supposed to make me sleep but I didn't expect to be numb! that was my problem in the first place. Maybe I am supposed to continue taking it, but hearing it's purpose put me in a mental shut down. I was supposed to see the Doctor on Tuesday, but I didn't feel like hearing what he had to say, so next Tuesday i am just going to fabricate another so he can give me a less depressing medication.

Maybe if everything becomes as chaotic as I am used to it being, I will feel better, MAYBE. But for now I am going to stick to saying "great" whenever someone says "How are you?" Who knows I might start feeling great when my brain tires of hearing and feeling two different things.

I can't wait to go home. I am almost certain that I will feel more sunny and brighter than the sun when I get home. but for now, I will just have to settle for Ife, Objection of my stalktation- HRM(sorry Bunny, I can't bump him to number two, the love is too strong) and Bunny (you can be the object of my public embarrasion). Ife think of what what object you want to be. But I love my Gidi family even if one of them is not actually a gidian. ninja you know I am talking to you.

Yours affectionately,
Object of your Objectification
aka gray smiles
nka (newly known as) Gidi Hair. :D

God I am razz!